Harry Potter Meets Rocky Horror
by Raven White
Summary: Just what the title says. I've taken HP and crossed it with RHPS to form the HPPS. . . Or some such thing, it's the result of too much caffine *G* I'll have the second part up sometime soon.


Disclamer: The original script and story-line are property the brilienght Richard O'Brian, creater of Rocky Horror Picture Show. Most Characters are property of the Goddess J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series and are used without her premission. I do not claim ownership of any of the above mentioned items.  
  
BHarry Potter meets Rocky Horror  
  
Staring:  
  
Harry Potter as Harry Potter (A Hero)  
  
Hermione Granger as Hermione Granger (A Heroin)  
  
Ron Weasley as Ron (A Handyman)  
  
Ginny Weasley as Virginia (A Domestic)  
  
Draco Malfoy as Dr. Draco Malfoy (A scientist)  
  
Cho Chang as Cho (A Groupie)  
  
Duddly Dursly as Duddly (A ex-delivery boy)  
  
Professor Albus Dubledore as Professor Dumbledore (A Rival Scientist)/B  
  
Harry and Hermione stood watching their friends Pravati and Semus Finagin fly away. They'd just been maried, and Harry was trying to get up the guts to propose to Hermione. "Herm," he said, walking toward the graveyard next the the church. "There's something I"ve been meaning to tell you...."  
  
"Yes Harry?" She asked following him.  
  
"I realy liked the...skillfull way you beat the other girls, to the Bride's boquet."  
  
"Oh Harry," Hermione knew where this was going, "Are you proposing?"  
  
Harry knelt down in front of her and pulled out a ring from the front poket of his robes. "Only if you're going to say yes."  
  
Hermione broke into a fit of giggles as girls are known to do when being proposed to. The ring was beautiful, it had five diamonds and a ruby in the center. "Of corse I will Harry." She gasped.  
  
"Then there's only one thing left to do." Harry said triumphantly.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"We must go see the man who began it. We must go and anounce our engagement to Professor Dumbledore."  
  
And with that they both hopped onto Harry's state of the art deluxe Firbolt 3002.  
  
~*~An hour and a half latter~*~  
  
"Harry Hogwarts isn't this far from the church, I think you made a wrong turn somewhere." Hermione yelled over the thunder and lightning, and the rain that was soaking them. Harry slowed the broom just to a hover and turned back to Hermione. "Didn't we pass a castle just a few miles down that way?" He said pointint behind Hermione. "Maybe they have an owl we can use."  
  
"Good idea, but what if they're muggles?"  
  
Harry thought for a moment, then replied. "Then we'll just see if we can wait out this strom, it's no use flying in this weather." So they turned around and flew towards the castle, as they neared it there was an erie glow coming from a dome in it's roof, it was like a giding beacon in the dark night. They landed in the grass just outside the gates, hiding the broom behind a tree, incase this was a muggle establishment. They walked through the gate, ignoring the lare "ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK" sign.  
  
As they aproched the front steps lightning struck and ilumenating a large group of motor-brooms. At least now they knew that this was no muggle establishment. "Harry, I don't like the looks of this place" Hermione said shivering, "Maybe we should just go."  
  
"Oh come on Herm, they might have an owl we can use." Harry said ringing the doorbell. Very erie music played and the door was opened by a tall and lanky red-head, or at least he would of been tall if it wasn't for the hump on his back. His hair hung greasily down past his shoulders, and his eyes looked sunken in. He wore a suit that at one time had probably been nice, but now they was ripped, and in parts spattered with something that must've been blood. He stood staring at them, taking them in. Harry was the first to speak.  
  
"Hello," He said. "I'm Harry Potter, this is my Fiance Hermione Granger. We were wondering if you had an owl we might use, you see we got lost on the way to visit a friend of ours."  
  
The butler didn't even seem to be listening, he continued staring at them. "You're wet," was all he said.  
  
"Yes," Hermione said in a tone that people usually reserve for small children. "It's raining."  
  
"I think you better both, come inside." He stepped away from the door letting them in.  
  
"Thank you," Harry replied dragging Hermione through the door.  
  
They stood looking around the room they'd entered. There was a staircase to one side, and in front of them they could see another set of large oak doors. Scattered around the very dusty room Hermione could aslo see animals that had been stuffed. "What is this place?" She asked Harry in a whisper.  
  
"Probably some hunting lodge for rich weirdos." Harry replied and the buttler walked up to stand next to them. This is when Hermione heard laughter and music coming from beyond the doors. "Are you having a party?" She asked.  
  
"You've arived on a very special night," He replied, "It is one of the Master's afairs."  
  
"Oh, lucky him."  
  
"He's lucky, you're luck, I'm lucky, we're all lucky!" Cried a red-headed maid as she slid down the banister, throwing her feather-duster towards the buttler. She laughed insanely. She definatly did not look like any maid Hermione had ever seen. Hermione couldn't think of a word to discribe her hair, poofy definately did not cover it. It was curly, and teased to the point were it stood on end. Her face was pale, and she wore very dark eye make-up, along with blood-red lipstick. Her apron was on over some very revealing lingerie and she wore fishnet-stockings with black boots over them.  
  
She hopped off the banister, as the buttler opened the front of a grandfarther-clock, revealing a skeleton, and began to sing. "It's astounding, time is fleeting, madness takes it's toll. But listen closely."  
  
"Not for very much longer," The maid broke in, coming up behind them.  
  
"I've got to keep controll." He was now dancing around the room. "I remember doing the Time Warp, drinking, those moments when, the blackness would hit me.(The maid joined in at this point) And the void would be calling." The large oak doors swung open, and they saw a mass of witches and wizards all wearing spandex.  
  
"Let's do the time warp again," They Chorused and began to sing and dance in unison. "It's just a jump to the left, and a step to the riiiight, with your hands on you hips, you bring your knees in tiiiight. But it's the pelvic thrust, that really drives you insaaane. Let's do the time warp again, Let's do the time warp again."  
  
The maid danced across the room and began to sing. "It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me, so you can't see me, no not at all, in another dimension, with voyeristic intentions. Well secluded, I see all."  
  
"With a bit of a mind flip," The buttler sang, offering Harry a pastrey.  
  
"You're into the time sliiip."  
  
"And nothing can ever be the same."  
  
"You're spaced out on sensation."  
  
"Like you're under sedation." Hermione fainted into Harry's arms.  
  
"Let's do the time warp again. Let's do the time warp again." Sang the chorus as the maid and butler danced across the room to where a dark haired girl sat on top of a jupbox. She wore a gold sequined tail coat over a black sequined strapless shirt, and striped shorts. She had on fishnet stockings with blue socks over them, and a pair of tap shoes. She too, began to sing.  
  
"Well I was walking down the street just-a havin a think, when a snake of a guy, gave me an evil wink, he shook-a me up, he took me by suprise he had a dark red broom and the devils eyes. He stared at me and I felt a change, time meant nothing, never would again. The partiers then repeated the chorus and dance moves.  
  
The tap-dancer jumped off the jupbox and began tap-dancing across the room, followed by the chorus once again. At this point Harry and Hermione began backing towards the door. The music stopped and everyone fell to the floor, Hermione elbowed Harry in the ribs, "Say something," she muttered under her breath. "Hey, do any of you guys know how to madison?" He asked, and she let out an exasperated sigh, as the people stood up and began to laugh.  
  
They edged back even farther, bumbing into the lift. Harry, it seems so unhealthy here, can we please go?"  
  
"We can't go untill I've used their owl, besides we don't want to seem rude." Replied he.  
  
"Rude?! Harry this isn't the junior Ministry Of Magic!"  
  
"They're probably forieners with ways unlike our own. Maybe they'll do some more folk dancing."  
  
"Harry, I'm cold and I'm wet, and I'm scared. Please let's just go!"  
  
"I'm here, there's nothing to worry about." Hermione turned around and screamed, faintint one more. The lift door opened and out stepped a blond haired man, his face pale like the others, wearing more make-up than the maid and tap-dancer combined. He stepped out of the lift, hugging his cape tightly to him. He too, began to sing.  
  
"Hello. I see you've met my, faithful handyman, you see he's just a brought down, because when you knocked he thought you were the candyman." He walked forward through the aisle the crowd had cleared. "Don't get strung out, byt the way I look. Don't judge a book by it's cover. I may not be much of a man by the light of day, but by night I'm one hell of a lover." He threw back his cape, revealing a black corsett, leather under-wear and fishnet thigh-high fish-net stockings, held up by black garders. "I'm just a sweet transvestitse, from Transexual, Transevania." He advanced upon Harry and Hermione.  
  
"Let me show you around. Maybe play you a sound, you look like you're both pretty groovey, or if you want something visual, that's not too abysmal, we could take in an old Steve Reeves movie."  
  
He began to great his guests while Harry talked. "I'm glad to see you're at home. Can we use your owl? We're really in a bit of a hurry, We'll just say where we are, and go back you our broom, we don't mean to be of any worry."  
  
"It's a pleasure to meet you Dr. Draco Malfoy." Said one of the guests, and Draco walked up onto the stage and sat in the chair as his serevants, adn the tap dancer came to stand around him. "You could stay fot the night," he began. "Night," Repeated the buttler.  
  
"Or mabye a bite."  
  
"Bite," Repeated the tapdancer.  
  
"I could show you my favorite obbsession, I've been making a man, with blond hair and a tan, and he's good for releaving my tension. I'm just a sweet tranvestite (sweet transvestite) from Transexual, Transevania. Uh- huh. I'm just a sweet tranvestite (sweet transvestite) from Transexual, Transevania. Uh-huh." He got up and walked toward the lift, entering it again.  
  
"So come up to lab. And see what's on the Slab. I see you shiver with antici....pation. But maybe the rain, really isn't to blame, so I'll remove the cause, but not the symptom!" The lift rose and the servents advanced upon Harry and Herione.  
  
They first took their cloaks and then began undoing their robes. "Harry!" Hermione shrieked. "Do something!" "We'll just play along for now," He replied, "and pull out the aces when the time is right." The tap-dancer aproched them and held out her arm for the servents to put their things upon. "Slowly, slowly," she said to the maid, "it's too nice a job to rush." And them turning to Harry she said. "You're very lucky to be invited up to Draco's laboratory, some people would give their right arm for the privledge." "People like you I supose?" He replied.  
  
"Ha! I've seem it!" She through the clothes and stormed off towards the lift. Hermione stood in a black silk bra, with matchinf underwear, and Harry in tight white breifs. The maid pushed them towards the lift, muttering "Come along, the master doesn't like to be kept waititng." Once inside the Buttler pushed the button and started them up. Hermione tried to make conversation with the tap-dancer.  
  
"So," she said, "Is this Draco you're husdand?"  
  
"The master is not yet married," replied the buttler, "nor do I think he will ever take a wife."  
  
"Oh." Hermione was silent after that. The lift door opened and the buttler motioned for them to get out, Harry and Hermione stepped out together, the maid and tap-dancer close behind them. The buttler handed Draco a glass of wine, before busying himself with the switches on the wall. The room was pink with a ramp up one side, the guests all stood upon it, looking down on them, making Hermione feel uncomfortable. There was also a large tank with a red sheet over it, next to a stage, with a microphone.  
  
After taking a sip of his wine Draco spoke. "Virginia." The red-headed maid stepped out from behind Hermione, waiting for instruction. "Cho," The tap-dancer stepped out from behind Harry, also waiting for instruction. "Go and asist Ron, I will entertain..." He extended his had to Harry, who shook it.  
  
"I'm Harry Potter, and this is my fiance Hermione Stranger," He said.  
  
"Granger!," Hermione said elbowing him in the ribs.  
  
"I mean Granger."  
  
Ron stepped up to Draco, who was now wearing a green lab coat with a pink triangle on it's front, and handed him two white Lab coats. Draco took them and handed them to his guests. "What charming under-clothes you both have," He said, "But please put these on, they'll make you feel less vunerable. It's not often we recieve visitors here, and even less often that we offer them hospitality-"  
  
"Hospitality?!" Harry said stepping forward and removing his glasses. "All we wanted to do was use your owl, goddamnit! A request you blantenly ignored!"  
  
"Harry, don't be ungrateful!" Hermione said grabbing him by the arm.  
  
"Ungrateful!"  
  
"What a perfect specimen of manhood you are Harry," Said draco. "So dominant." Upon seeing were Draco's eyes were Harry quickly pulled his labcoat closed. "Do you have an tattoo's Harry?" He asked.  
  
"Certainly not." Harry replied, sternly.  
  
"What about you Hermione?"  
  
"No," Hermione said giggling.  
  
"All is in Rediness master," said Ron walking up behind Draco. "We meerly await your word." Draco turned and thrust his glass of wine into Ron's hands, qlaking swiftly up to the microphone wear Cho and Virginia were standing, both wearing white aprons and surgical masks.  
  
Draco gazed up at the partiers on the ramp-balcony and addressed them. "Tonight, my unconventional conventionists," he began, "you are about to witness a new breakthrough in biochemical research... and paradise is to be mine! It was strange the way it happened... suddenly you get a break...whole pieces seem to fit into place, not a sign of being... what a fool! The answer was there all the time, it took a small accident to make it happen...AN ACCIDENT..."  
  
"An accident!" Virginia and Cho echoed among cheering from the partiers.  
  
Draco continued. "...and that's how I discovered the secret, that elusive ingredient, that SPARK that is the breath of life... Yes, I have that knowledge... I hold the secret... to life... itself! You see, you are fortunate for tonight is the night that my beautiful creature is destine to be BORN!"  
  
Draco paused and slipped on a pair of pink rubber gloves. "Up now!" He ordered Ron as Virginia and Cho brought back the red cloth that covered the tank. "Throw open the switches on the sonic oscillator... and step up the reactor power input three more points!" Lights began to flash throughout the room. The tank had taken on an eerie electric glow. Draco walked to it, and began twisting the little nobs on the fixture that had decended from the ceiling. Quickly the tank began to fill with colors, showing a rainbow patern on the sides.  
  
The mummy like creature inside the tank reached out it's hands and began to pull itself into a sitting position, and then stood. Ron reached forward and pulled the bandages off it's head. "Oh Rocky!" Draco screamed looking at the creature, which had now begun to roar. He hopped ouf of the tank upon seeing Draco and began looking for somewhere to run. Virginia and Cho unwrapped the rest of his bandages, revealing bronze-toned skin, muscles and small golden underwear.  
  
Rocky ran through the crowd of guests, each one of them admiring him, as he sang of the problems he had. He didn't even know where he'd come from! Once Draco finally caught up with him, he scolded him. "Now Rocky, is that any way to behave on your first day out?" He asked and Rocky looked at him with big blue eyes. Draco traced his hand along his thigh, "Well, since you're such an exceptional beauty," He said, "I'm prepared to forgive you." Rocky was ecstatic, laughing happilly.  
  
"Oh, I just love sucsess!" He cried sweetly as his servants, and cho came up to the tank, throwing they're surgical masks and aprons into the it.  
  
"He's a credit to your genious master." Ron agreed.  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"A triumph of your will!" Virginia proclaimed.  
  
"Yes!"  
  
Cho grinned and nodded. "He's okay," she said emphatically.  
  
Draco glared at her. "Okay? We can do better than that, can't we?" Grabbing Rocky by the wrist he dragged him over to where Harry and Hermione stood. "Well, Hermione, what do you think of him?"  
  
Hermione looked at him, and then up at Harry. "Well, I don't like a man with too many muscles," She replied.  
  
"I didn't make him for you! He carries the Charles Atlas seal of aproval." At this the guests began to clap loudly. Draco led Rocky over to where a set of gift-wrapped weights sat. He watched Rocky unwrap them as he began to sing. "A weakling weighing ninety-eight pounds, will get sand in his face, when kicked to the ground. And soon in the gym, with a determined chin, the sweat from his pores, as he works for his cause, will make him glisten and gleam, and with massage and just a little bit of steam, he'll be pink and quite clean. He'll be a strong man. Oh, honey!"  
  
"But the wrong man!" Chorused the guests.  
  
"He'll eat nutritious, high protein and swallow raw eggs. Try to build up his shouldersHis chest, arms, and legs. Such an effort if he only knew of my plan. In just seven days."  
  
"I can make you a man!"  
  
"He'll do press-ups and chin-ups do the snatch, clean, and jerk. He thinks dynamic tension  
  
must be hard work. Such strenuous living I just don't understand. When in just seven days oh, baby I can make you a man." Draco pulled Rocky into an embrace, just as a beebing sound filled the air and the deep-freez door opened. A blond man on a motor-broom came out, covered in ice.  
  
"Duddly!" Cried Cho in her usual high-pitched voice at the site of him. He got of his broom and began singing. "Whatever happened to Saturday night, when you dressed up sharp and you felt alright?" He looked Rocky up and down. "It don't seem the same since Cosmic Light, came into my life, I thought I was divine. I used to go for a ride with a chick who'd sit and listen to the music on the radio. A saxophone was blowing on a rock and roll show. We climbed in the back seat, really had a good time. Hot patootie bless my soul, really love that rock and roll. Hot patootie bless my soul, really love that rock and roll." By this time Cho had flung herself onto Duddly, and was busying herself with kissing his hands. The guests were dancing and Draco stood in the corner, daggers shooting from his eyes.  
  
Duddly picked Cho up and spun her around, hodling her close he began to sing again. "My head used to swim from the perfume I smelled, my hands kinda fumbled with her white plastic belt, I'd taste her baby-pink lipstick and that's when I'd melt, she'd wisper in my ear, tonight she really was mine." He now held Cho at arms length as she continued to look at him, her eyes filled with hunger. "Get back in the front, put some hair oil on, Buddy Holly was singing his very last song, with your arms around your girl you try to sing along, felt pretty good...Whoo! Really had a good time. Hot patootie bless my soul, really love that rock and roll. Hot patootie bless my soul, really love that rock and roll." The guests continued singing the chourus while Duddly and Cho snogged on the floor.  
  
By this time Rocky had begun to dance, and Virginia and Ron had entered the deep freez, where they too were dancing. Draco grabbed Rocky and put him in the lift, he looked like a caged animal, as he banged on the door. Draco went into the deep freeze and grabbed an ice-pick, he walked out with it behind his back, and wiated untill Duddly got close enough to strike.  
  
Duddly placed Cho on his motor-broom turning a little to late to see Draco with the ice pick, he ran towards the deep freeze, only to be hit in the back of the head by the ice pick. Cho sat on the motor-broom screaming and shreiking, tears running out of her eyes, and leaving black trails down her cheeks. "Wonderful voice," Draco said with a laugh, sticking out the bloody, pink gloves for Virginia to remove. Rocky pounded even harder on the door to the lift. "Oh Baby!!!" Draco yelled running to him.  
  
Rocky looked at him, his chin quivering. "Oh don't be upset, it was a mercy killing," Draco explained. "H had a sort of naive charm, but no muscle." Upon hearing the word muscel Rocky flexed his biceps and Draco began to sing once more. "But a deltoid and a bicep. A hot groin and a tricep. Makes me - Ooh! - shake, Makes me wanna take Charles Atlas by the hand."  
  
"In just seven days," the guests chorused.  
  
"Oh, baby."  
  
"I can make you a man."  
  
"I don't want no dimension, just dynamic tension."  
  
"In just seven days, I can make you a man."  
  
"Dig it if you can."  
  
"In just seven days, I can make you a man." Virginia undid Draco's green labcoat, revealing the same corset and leather underwear he'd been wearing earlier. Draco extended his arm and he and Rocky walked towards the bridal swuete, which the door to had just been opend by Ron and Virginia. Once they were inside the curtains closed and the guests began to depart, leaving Harry and Hermione both aprehensive and nervous. These feelings worsened as they were both shown their seperate rooms.  
  
AN: what do you think?? I need feedback! lol I'll have the second half up sometime soon, that is if anyone Iwants/I it up. 


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